Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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