U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hippo gnu deer
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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