i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
