Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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