did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
