Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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