never play flip cup with pint glasses
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
