So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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