I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
