Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
