there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
