You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
