Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
