My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
