Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
