I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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