Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do you still have your period?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
