I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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