When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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