Just fell off a train. Bad.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
