Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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