Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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