Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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