does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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