Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
