yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
