So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
