Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
