Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
