this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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