She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Pooping to opera.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
