Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
