and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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