i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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