Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
