Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
