Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You're so nebulous sometimes
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
