Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
