Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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