Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
