K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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