just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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