It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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