Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
