Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
