i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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