5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Congratulations! We have a period
where are my eyebrows?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
