I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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