Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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