Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
