A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Alive.
So much puke
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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