I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
