There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
