Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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