Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
