hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
